Growing Up To Be Parents

My fall back position as a grandmother is that my grandchild can do no wrong.  She's two years old but shares a startling similarity to many teenagers I've known. The idea doesn't make me draw back in horror, because I find that group of kids similarly loveable.  A child of two is stubborn, its true.  She's extremely focused on winning whatever argument she's engaged in at the moment, and drama can ensue when she's thwarted.  Parents must be at their most cunning to derail a temper tantrum before it even starts.  Once it does, the child can occasionally be bribed, jollied, or consoled out of it.  Unless they're tired.  Then its just a lose, lose proposition.  The only cure is sleep, and no child, even a  two year old, wants to hear that they're 'just tired.' Especially when its true.

Raising a two year requires tact and self discipline, just as it does with a teenager.  This is not always an easy proposition, since parents tend to feel less than tactful when dealing with  red faced, bad tempered offspring who are shouting out 'poopy face' or whatever the four year old next door has taught them.  This is especially true with teenagers.  Many of us feel like throwing a temper tantrum of our own, forgetting everything we ever learned from our own parents.  We want a gladiator style smack down.  The weapon might be a raised voice, a lot of finger pointing or possibly a stamped foot or two.   And I'm not talking about the kids.

Whatever your outside job is, nothing will ever be as frustrating or cause as much hair pulling as bringing up a kid.  If you're reading this and feeling a certain smugness, wait a while.  All parents pay their dues at some time or another.  Those of us who pay early may get off a little easier.  A two year old that likes to let off some steam may cut you some slack once they're in their teens.  That has been my experience.  But how you handle your toddler can make a big difference.  We as parents are always the role model, showing our child how to behave in the world.  When we're calm, then they internalize the message that in spite of their wild and out of control feelings, they're safe.  When we offer kind words during hard times, they learn empathy.

There are times when a parent feels like a little duct tape would not be a bad tool.  Feel the feeling and get over it, because the day will come when you are the one having the hard time.  The time will come when your roles will reverse, and it will be your child wiping your face, helping you as you struggle with all the demands and  indignities of old age.  Gentleness breeds gentleness.  All the virtues reproduce, as do the less desirable characteristics.   This spring, plant a good crop in the garden of your child's life.  You're going to really appreciate all your hard work at harvest time.