Growing Up To Be Parents

My fall back position as a grandmother is that my grandchild can do no wrong.  She's two years old but shares a startling similarity to many teenagers I've known. The idea doesn't make me draw back in horror, because I find that group of kids similarly loveable.  A child of two is stubborn, its true.  She's extremely focused on winning whatever argument she's engaged in at the moment, and drama can ensue when she's thwarted.  Parents must be at their most cunning to derail a temper tantrum before it even starts.  Once it does, the child can occasionally be bribed, jollied, or consoled out of it.  Unless they're tired.  Then its just a lose, lose proposition.  The only cure is sleep, and no child, even a  two year old, wants to hear that they're 'just tired.' Especially when its true.

Raising a two year requires tact and self discipline, just as it does with a teenager.  This is not always an easy proposition, since parents tend to feel less than tactful when dealing with  red faced, bad tempered offspring who are shouting out 'poopy face' or whatever the four year old next door has taught them.  This is especially true with teenagers.  Many of us feel like throwing a temper tantrum of our own, forgetting everything we ever learned from our own parents.  We want a gladiator style smack down.  The weapon might be a raised voice, a lot of finger pointing or possibly a stamped foot or two.   And I'm not talking about the kids.

Whatever your outside job is, nothing will ever be as frustrating or cause as much hair pulling as bringing up a kid.  If you're reading this and feeling a certain smugness, wait a while.  All parents pay their dues at some time or another.  Those of us who pay early may get off a little easier.  A two year old that likes to let off some steam may cut you some slack once they're in their teens.  That has been my experience.  But how you handle your toddler can make a big difference.  We as parents are always the role model, showing our child how to behave in the world.  When we're calm, then they internalize the message that in spite of their wild and out of control feelings, they're safe.  When we offer kind words during hard times, they learn empathy.

There are times when a parent feels like a little duct tape would not be a bad tool.  Feel the feeling and get over it, because the day will come when you are the one having the hard time.  The time will come when your roles will reverse, and it will be your child wiping your face, helping you as you struggle with all the demands and  indignities of old age.  Gentleness breeds gentleness.  All the virtues reproduce, as do the less desirable characteristics.   This spring, plant a good crop in the garden of your child's life.  You're going to really appreciate all your hard work at harvest time.

Spending Childhood in 3-D

Next month I'll talk about the babyTrekker carrier, as usual.  I'll pass on some tips, and share stories.   This month, I want to tell you a little about what is happening with other people's children around the world.   Unicef estimates that 126 million child labourers are involved in work that is Dirty, Dangerous and Degrading.  In fact, children represent over half of the people being trafficked around the world.  For every child sold into prostitution, another nine are forced to work in factories, sweatshops, farms and boats.

Child slavery is the consequence of poverty, powerlessness, and discrimination.  These little ones are preyed on by people who give them or their parents false promises for better lives and decent working conditions.  Once tricked into working for nothing, they suffer from poor health and a complete lack of care or interest in their condition.  They're subjected to long hours of labour for no pay.  Many are unable to escape this life.  Even as I write this, there are child slaves dying who have never experienced a normal childhood.

You and I have a role to play in helping child victims.  We can ask our own government to step in.  We can insist that large corporations to pay attention to this issue.  We need to  shine a spotlight on the welfare of these children.  For that reason, World Vision is running a 'Help Wanted' campaign, and everyone that signs up becomes another voice speaking for the helpless.

Please sign the pledge on the page by copying and pasting the link below..  It is possible to change the world for these children.  It's possible to make sure they get health care, an education and a future.  Every person who holds their little one in a baby carrier gives them the sense that they are loved and cared for and safe.  Let us hold these desparate children in our hearts, and help them with our actions.  For more information, go to www.endchildslavery.ca   To sign the petition, go to:

http://voices.worldvision.ca/help_wanted

Be part of the solution.  Sign the petition and give some thought to sponsoring a child through World Vision. We can change their future if we care enough.   

Looks Like We Made It

Something happens to me in the spring. When the sun decides to stick around for more than eight hours a day, I get a little giddy. I'm not the only Northern Canadian who feels this way, I know. The longer days, the warming sun and melting snow offer up a promise to all of us hardy folk who live with enormous cold and too much darkness. Life will be easier now, the changing weather says. I'm not sure why this is so, because gardening season offers up a few challenges of its own. It becomes a full time job getting the seeds in the ground, planting annuals in all the beds and pots. Still, it feels like a holiday. Even though the winter offers fun of its own, it becomes a bit of an endurance test once January is over.

It must be wonderful living somewhere like Hawaii, where the seasons never change. Your wardrobe would be a lot smaller, for one thing, once you eliminate all the boots, heavy coats, long underwear, toques, mitts and more. Your outdoor equipment would take less room in the garage. Heck, you wouldn't even need a garage! It must be amazing. On the other hand...

There is a certain joy that comes with the changing seasons. The high of spring's arrival can't be beat. Walking down the dusty streets, watching the streams of water pour into the gutters as the snow melts makes me want to make popsicles and eat supper in the garden. I just feel so optimisitic. The trees send out tiny buds, just a few at first, because sometimes we get those freak storms and northern trees can't help being a little cynical. The people are the same, so we wait, just a little, before we stow away the boots and pack away the winter clothes. And then the time comes when we know that spring is really here. And its not going away. The weather will continue to warm, the sky to brighten as the sound of children playing fills the evening air.

Our new babyTrekker colours of sweet potato, chili pepper and kiwi lime are a homage to the spirit of spring. That's not to say that they won't brighten the darkest winter days, because they will. They are warm, friendly, and fabulously neutral. They go with everything and are slimming to the body, as our testing parents have discovered. Don't shy away from fun...embrace the warmth. Have a wonderful spring. Pop baby in the Trekker, and start working in the yard. The best is yet to come.

Love Story

February is the month for stories of the heart. If you’ve ever set sail on the ship of love, you’ll recall the intensity, the pain and the wonder of it all. Yet ask any new parent about first holding their newborn, and they will tell you of a connection so deep, it makes everything else pale in comparison. And so nature planned it.

Why else would we willingly deprive ourselves of free time for the next decade, face an avalanche of poopy diapers, or walk the floor at 3 in the morning while singing old Barry Manilow tunes, which is the only thing your tired brain can produce and which strangely enough seems to help. This is truly God and biology at work. It amazes me even now how those tiny dictators have us hopping to attention, all the while keeping a firm grip on our hearts.

And how does this explain that other love story; the grandparent? Just when the kids have left home, the dog has gone to doggy heaven, and retirement looms like a sweet promise on the horizon, along comes the first grandchild. Even if a parent is unprepared, and the grandparents are in shock, still, a new chapter in the book of love is written. And this one is a blockbuster. Plans fly out the window in the face of this new being. Grandparents are as helpless as parents in resisting this tiny force of nature. I hear grandparents say all the time, “You enjoy them, and then you send them home.”

But they don’t! The grandparents that I know, including my own parents and in-laws, give up many weekends to care for their grandchildren, and most seem happy to do it. It’s like an angel appeared with a trumpet and shouted, “Let the endless giving of time, love, and energy begin again!” But that's not how it feels, because love never drains your batteries. It charges you up instead.

I remember when our oldest was a year old, and she threw up in the middle of the night. I immediately called my parents, who came running over (though my mother is a nurse and should have known better.) We all watched over Hilary like she was a time bomb ready to go off, and when she simply fell asleep on the living room floor, we all breathed a sigh of relief. “That was a close one.” No, it really wasn’t. And of course, it happened time and again, though we all learned to panic less often. The love was there, always, and the time given, with my mother taking turns walking the floor with her 16 grandchildren, and even traveling with my sister to conferences, walking around cities wearing her grandsons in the babyTrekker. When I was feeling overwhelmed, my parents and in-laws would come over and hold my babies while I did housework.

Love signs us up; we have no choice in the matter. So this February, which many consider the month of love, I salute and give thanks for grandparents, who give their hearts over and over again, along with their time, energy, and money passed under the table to grandchildren.

Best Year Ever

2012. Two thousand twelve. It doesn't matter how I write it, I love the look and sound of the new year. Never mind the Mayans or anyone else who has a bad word to say about it. I have a good feeling about this one. For the first time ever, I've been able to write cheques and letters without putting the wrong year down.

I've got my resolutions in order, both personal and business. This year, we'll celebrate our 23rd year in business. That's a lot of babyTrekkers. Thanks to all our former and present customers for your letters, photos and funny stories. I've been blessed by all of you. There is something wonderful about having a business that connects a person to others around the planet. I love that fact that people on every continent have worn and loved the babyTrekker. For those of you unfamiliar with our Canadian carrier, let me give you a few facts.

The babyTrekkers are made with love and care, one at a time. We purchase our organic cotton through an American company, use American made buckles and foam. Everything else, including the manufacturing, comes from Canada. We pay attention to the details, and we like to get things right. If we don't, we make it right for our customers who somehow, over the years, have come to feel like old friends.

This is the year that I celebrate you, the customer. I salute you, my friends, for undertaking the precious, overwhelming and ongoing task of parenting. I honor your quest to be the best mom and dad you can be, and for making a place for the babyTrekker in your family's story. I pray that this is the best year ever, for you, for me, for all of us who share this amazing planet. God bless you all and have a great 2012.