Parenting Makeover? Yes we Can!

A recent study out of Scotland by Dr. Suzanne Zeedyk has suggested that infants who face away from their parents in strollers are less likely to talk, laugh and interact with others. It was a small experiment involving just twenty babies, but it brings to mind studies of infants raised in orphanages during the early 1900s who often died during their first year of life, or were severely retarded in their physical and mental growth. It was discovered that by hiring extra staff who had more time for holding and talking to the babies, death rates dropped and the infants had a chance to develop normally.
We know that all humans, adults included, need touch and interaction. Parenting conveniences today such as swings, hard bucket carriers, infant seats and strollers have taken the place of a parent’s arms. No one will argue that life is fast paced and people are expected to accomplish much in their day. With so many families needing two incomes, parents often arrive home exhausted, and a swing that comforts their little one while they cook dinner and clean the house can seem like a God send. But I think today’s parents are hostages, not only of an economy that leaves less time for family, but also of a society that once again demands that we keep our babies at arms length.
I had a call from a customer a few months ago who wanted a baby carrier, but one that wouldn’t interfere in the line of her jacket, because it was very important for her to have a polished, put together look. I was speechless. This young mother not only had to cope with her job and her young infant, but also society’s expectations of her as a “yummy mummy.” Anyone who watches television knows about the proliferation of shows that demand makeovers, whether its houses, wardrobes, or a person’s physical appearance. Well what about this: what if we demand a society makeover? I want a culture that insists on parents being allowed to take their babies to work, or at least have them close at hand. I want to experience a society that cares about the mental and emotional welfare of the family. I want to see parents encouraged to wear their babies and share the close physical contact that is necessary to all primates on the planet, including humans. A teddy bear is fine as a toy, but it’s no substitute for the warm touch of a parent. Hard plastic seats prove to not only deprive infants emotionally, but may also cause back problems for them in the future. Pediatricians, at least reputable ones, no longer counsel parents to leave a crying baby unattended. They know that this sends a message to the child that they might as well soothe themselves, because no one is coming to the rescue. Self soothing for adults can translate into drug, alcohol and sexual abuse, so what about if we just start meeting our infants needs, and our own instead? Let’s wear our babies. Let’s be a society that cares more about the feelings of our children than the label on our clothing. Let’s take what we know to be true and act on it.
So when you’ve had a hard day either at work or around the house, strap on your carrier and while you’re preparing dinner, tell your baby all about your day. When you’re shopping in the mall, wear your baby and talk about everything you’re seeing, or if they’re too old for a carrier, talk to them while you push them in the stroller. Ignore your cell phone, and let this part of your day be about the two of you. Believe me, when they’re sixteen and want to go to a party, you’re going to appreciate the connection.
Happy Trekking.